The Present: July 16

July 16, 20144.4 min

This has been quite a week! Our three sons are grown, but as long as we live, we will hurt when they hurt. It is not like when they were little and we could at least attempt to take their pain away. Sometimes I think it is a mistake to insulate them from pain, even when they are young. Pain is part of life. We need to learn to deal with it and do what we can to avoid it. I always believed that our children were a gift from God; a loan, really. He gave them to us to care for and raise in the knowledge of Him, and when they were grown, He would become their source of care and guidance. When they became rebellious teenagers and would not listen to us anymore, I gave them to God gladly! To do too much for them actually keeps them from growing up and from growing closer to God. But I still hurt when they hurt….or when they do dumb things that I know will cause them pain eventually.

I am so grateful for my family…especially my husband. The older I get the more I appreciate him. We are partners in every sense of the word. I did not understand the legal ramifications when I said “I do”. Like many brides, I thought it was just an emotional promise. In Kentucky, we are responsible for each other’s finances in every way. We are not responsible for our children’s finances after they are 18. Our children are not entitled to any of our money until we die, and even then, only if we want them to have it or if we do not leave a will. Financial advisers tell people not to pay for their children’s education unless they are on track for a retirement income. You can borrow for college, but you can’t borrow for retirement.

Personally, I do not give our children any money now because 1. We can’t afford it and still save for retirement, and 2. Because they need to learn life’s lessons like we did so they don’t waste it.

Also I want to leave them an inheritance when I die. To me that is better because 1. They have to behave themselves and stay on my good side if they want me to leave them anything, and 2. They will have a back up plan in case they screw up their own retirement. They can’t really count on the money I hope to leave them, because I may decide not to, or something else could happen to the money (like what happened to my father and mother in law’s money) so they will hopefully plan and save something themselves for retirement.

Don’t misunderstand me. We have given our adult sons THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars each. But we are done with that. Time for Lawrence and I to focus on US.

We are working with a reputable, experienced, lawyer to seal our plans up nice and tidy. There are so many ways to save and protect money as we age and begin to have health problems that require a good lawyer. I have gone to many seminars on the subject and am going to another one July 29th at The Clark Legacy Center, 601 E. Brannon Crossing, Nicholasville, KY at 10:00 am. They are doing it again at 6:00 pm. Please call for RSVP 859 271 1111.

I know so many women who have divorced their husbands in middle age and bought a dog. I wonder if they understood the financial implications of what they did. Aside from the finances….my husband is much better than a dog! He hates dogs and I had to choose at one point: Lawrence or a dog. Lawrence won, hands down.

Think about it: Can a dog take out the garbage? Mow the lawn? Buy groceries? Clean himself?

Besides, Lawrence does not shed or drool, and I don’t have to clean up his poop or put him in a kennel when I go on a trip.

Like some dogs, Lawrence does keep me from getting a good nights sleep, but hey, he is still better than a dog. He has some really annoying habits and spends money on stuff that seem a waste to me, but he is still better than a dog.

We can go for walks together, garden together, go to events and fun places together. And we both take turns cooking.

I know that I will probably have to care for an aged and ailing Lawrence someday. But how much better to care for a human being with whom I have shared a family and a life for 32 + years than some dog? Seriously!

I love dogs and all animals, but I don’t believe in spending money or time on them when there are humans who need us more. God gave us animals to serve us, not the other way around. But if Lawrence mellows with age and will not throw fits if I get a dog, I am getting a dog. Statistics show that they improve the health of seniors because they are a source of joy and force us to exercise.

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