The Present: July 31

July 31, 20141.3 min

Our daughter in law’s Memorial Service was on Monday. It was in the chapel of our church where she and my son were married seven years ago. It was a very sad affair, of course, but it was beautiful too, with lots of flowers like Lily would have loved. I was so busy helping Eli make it happen—taking care of the children, reserving the space, contacting the pastor, designing the program, buying the flowers, etc.—that I did not think about giving a eulogy for Lily. Many people came forward to give wonderful eulogy’s in her honor, and for that I am grateful. If I could relive that day, this is what I would have said:

Lily was my daughter in law. I made up my mind years ago when I was a new daughter in law to treat my future daughters in law as if they were my daughters. I loved Lily as a daughter and I wanted the best for her. She was a beautiful and intelligent woman. I admired her ambition and what she had accomplished despite the challenges she faced in life. I admired her bravery. She taught herself to speak English and how to get around in this country. I admired her for keeping a clean house, which was never my forte. I also admired her style and her talent, but most of all I marveled at the way she loved my son and my grandchildren.

Lily was family. I miss her terribly.

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