Our daughter in law’s Memorial Service was on Monday. It was in the chapel of our church where she and my son were married seven years ago. It was a very sad affair, of course, but it was beautiful too, with lots of flowers like Lily would have loved. I was so busy helping Eli make it happen—taking care of the children, reserving the space, contacting the pastor, designing the program, buying the flowers, etc.—that I did not think about giving a eulogy for Lily. Many people came forward to give wonderful eulogy’s in her honor, and for that I am grateful. If I could relive that day, this is what I would have said:

Lily was my daughter in law. I made up my mind years ago when I was a new daughter in law to treat my future daughters in law as if they were my daughters. I loved Lily as a daughter and I wanted the best for her. She was a beautiful and intelligent woman. I admired her ambition and what she had accomplished despite the challenges she faced in life. I admired her bravery. She taught herself to speak English and how to get around in this country. I admired her for keeping a clean house, which was never my forte. I also admired her style and her talent, but most of all I marveled at the way she loved my son and my grandchildren.

Lily was family. I miss her terribly.