I am very sad today. We have always known that we are not equipped to help people who are a high flight risk. We were not able to help a family today….well, not in the way they were hoping we could help them. We tried to entertain the grandfather who had dementia, but he missed his family and wanted to exit the building. He was happy for over an hour, but then he became restless. I thought perhaps he had to use the restroom, because that was how my father in law behaved when he had to use the toilet, but he declined assistance in that department. We tried to redirect and interest him in the koi pond and watering the flowers, or watering anything, but that only held his attention briefly. I tried to interest him in helping with taking the letters off a sign, but he did not want to do that either. We turned on the television and put a movie on, because his family said he liked to watch television, but he was not the least bit interested in that. We had been feeding him snacks since he arrived, and he seemed to truly enjoy the plums, but then he was full and would not be redirected with the offer of food or drink. He tried to climb through the mirror in the gym to get out. He tried every door until he found the one that was not locked, where we desperately tried to redirect him, but he was determined to bolt. We are not allowed to lock all of our doors because of the fire code. The door into the garden does not have to be locked because there is a fence and gates with locks. He was happy to exit into the garden, but then he tried to push through the fence when he was in the garden. He was a very fit looking gentleman and quite tall, and I was concerned he would knock the fence over, so we invited him back inside.

The situation deteriorated from there. We had to call the police to help us three ladies. He swung at us several times when we got in his way when he was trying to leave, so I knew that he would eventually get out and fortunately the police arrived in time to prevent him from going into the road. Kristy was quite the hero, tripping him in the grass to slow him down.

Then his family arrived because we had called them at the first sign of his distress. When he saw them, he calmed down. I felt so sorry for all of them, but mostly for the child. People with late stage dementia can become quite violent, and children are especially vulnerable. I called the child protective services and for a welfare check. I am praying they find relief from the terribly stressful situation they are in. I am praying they get the support and assistance they need immediately. We offered some advice, and that is the only way we can help them. To protect their identity I won’t say where we suggested, but I hope they seek respite care, because it is difficult to make rational decisions when one is not sleeping at night and stressed continually. So sad. Their plight takes me back in time to 2007 and 2008, when I was caring for my father in law. We were offered respite care from the VA, and it was a Godsend.

May you and yours be blessed this week.