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December 2, 2017

I am sharing this very personal experience in hopes of helping someone, somewhere. A very strange thing happened to me last week. On Monday night I had a dream about the man I was married to when I was aged 18 to 23. I went back to sleep and dreamed about him again. Normally I do not attach much importance to dreams. I have always thought they are just our emotions working their way out in our subconscious. But I could not shake the feeling that the dreams meant something. And I could not stop thinking about Phil. We have not communicated for over 35 years. I had no idea where he was or what he was doing. I prayed about it. Why the nagging feeling that I was supposed to do something about, or for, Phil? So, on Wednesday I looked him up on Facebook. He owned and was operating a bed and breakfast in Ohio, I discovered. Okay. That was interesting, but so what? I sent him a friend request but did not receive a reply. And still I could not stop thinking about him. Was he in trouble? Maybe God wanted me to help him for some reason. I definitely felt as if he was in trouble. On Thursday I googled his name and discovered an article that had just been published that day!  In the local newspaper of the town where he owned his bed and breakfast, the article described how he came to buy and renovate the place and turn it into a successful business. The article went on to tell how Phil was selling his bed and breakfast and moving to Colorado to be with his daughter because of failing health. I felt relief. He has a daughter to take care of him. Good. I was afraid he was all alone in the world with no one to help him in his distress.  Lots of memories have been flooding my mind all week. The conclusion I have come to is this: When we love someone and bond with them through sex and daily living for an extended period of time, we remain connected for life.

I am sorry Phil is sick. I am sorry for many things. I pray he does not suffer and I pray he knows I really did love him.